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[Humour] Deck Archetypes in a Nutshell

JcttehTheWiseJcttehTheWise Posts: 2,007Moderator
Posted here because contains swearing


Some extra content:


Enemy: Wow such skilless crap just place huts until building an impassable wall while infinite spam reaches my tower. Nerf to all huts please!!!

Me: Huts require sooo much skill if opponent has splasher you are almost fucked up unless you play perfectly your spells and I must control my cycle to make sure I can defend punishments after placing the hut.

Ebarbs rage

Enemy: if the worst illness became a card then raged Ebarbs would be the result. Simply placing at the bridge overleveled crap + rage and just zap the defense for easy tower damage. Nerf Ebarbs or I'll stop playing SC!!!

Me: … uum… I have no gold to use other decks OK?!
Forum Moderator and hobbyish doodler
I like underused stuff...


  • GiorgakisGiorgakis Posts: 3,120Member
    Lavaloon Beatdown

    Opponent: How can they spam their Hound and Balloon whith no punishment. Even if I attack the other lane, they still stop me in their tracks with the bones. Nerf Hound and Balloon, terminate that Tombstone

    Me: Bridge Spam ends me. Skeleton Army and Tombstone are not enough to stop punishers, especially if they are Raged. Plus if they get zapped, there goes my tower. And that is not enought, they also stop my push with Shit Horde.

    Skarmy Bait

    Opponent: Stop that spam. They send me a punisher to damage my tower and while I defend against it, they send another punishment on they other lane, demolishing my tower. And that is not enough, they attack me again with... you guessed it, ANOTHER punishment. I cannot create a push. Nerf Ebarbs, Prince, Ram and Hog or I stop paying you SC

    Me: It is impossible to defend with this deck. Either you attack as much as possible to disallow any snowball pushes or you have already lost the game.

    Starter Deck

    Opponent: Uggghhh how are they so high level. I have overleveled my deck and this deck is still more overleveled than me. They are supposed to be weak but they are too strong when overleveled. Nerf all Common and Rare cards

    Me: This deck lacks a lot of power. There are way stronger cards that powercreep my cards. Plus they are all really weak to Fireball. Set them all up behind the Giant and all of them are dead by a Fireball while the Giant suffers a slow but painful deck. Dont blame me for my levels.

    Worship the 9 Titans (Golem, PEKKA, Lava Hound, Dragon, Giant Skeleton, Scorcher, Super PEKKA, Electro Dragon, Goblin Giant)
    Their card
    Obey the 4 Immortal Armies (Skeleton Army, Minion Horde, Goblin Gang, Critter Swarm)
    Teach the 12 Titan Babies (Golemite, Mini PEKKA, Baby Dragon, Lava Pup, Sparky, Inferno Dragon, Ice Golem, Balloon, Cannon Cart, Dropship, Flying Machine, Deployable Turret)
    Protect the 12 Peasants (Skeletons, Goblins, Spear Goblins, Minions, Bats, Critters, Fire Spirits, Ice Spirits, Crystal Critters, Critter Bats, Explosive Drones, Beta Minion)
    Babysit the Titan Grandchild (Zappy)

    Check my AMA here
    Play in these Forum Games: Buy, sell, trash, Grant the Wish above you, Hurt and Heal, Complain the Card above you for the stupidest Reason, Admire the card above you for the smartest Reason, Two Lies, One Truth, Keep One, Drop One, Trash a Card, TPBM Game
    Show your feedback for these card ideas: Cold Skeleton, Thorns, Armored Giant, Battle Zeppelin, Medicine, Blessing, Dragon, Deployable Cannon, Warrior, Heavy Elite Barbarian, Boom Cannon, Crusher, Microwaver, Rocket Launcher, Barbarian Launcher, Grappler, S.I.M.O. Tower, Double Cannon, Flamethrower, Giant Hut
    This is my favorite discussion ever (not created by me):
  • IDProGIDProG Posts: 158Member
    Balloon Freeze Rage

    Opponent: Balloon is so OP. Touch the tower and you will be rewarded with instant tower destruction. Pair it with Freeze and Rage, and it's a guaranteed touch. Why is Balloon so thick? Why? Nerf Balloon ASAP!

    Me: This crap is a joke. 11 Elixir just for a push without the ability to clear counterpush threat?
    Oh no, He defends with Wizard and Musketeer. He has a Giant, and I just wasted 11 Elixir. I'm screwed big time!
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