I want to talk about some things with all of you, that I felt have needed to be said for a long time but now I have an opportunity. I'm not leaving, I'll say that now.
In case y'all were wondering where I was the last few days, I had some technical issues with my iPad and couldn't access Community Royale or Discord, among other things. It's good now (as you can see). Then I went on vacation this weekend, and it was the most fun I've had so far this year and probably in quite some time.
Community Royale is important to my life, but it isn't my life. It is never and will never be the number 1 priority in my life. I took a much needed 3-month break from this community and Discord last year to make sure I wasn't rearranging my priorities in a poor way for my long-term being. I will never let this be what drives my life and motivations, but it will be a part of my plans each day, for the foreseeable future, except for vacations (next one isn't till the end of May).
Being a moderator, even for a small and relatively inactive community as this, is a lot harder than it sounds. A lot of people would like to be a mod and have the powers and hopefully do good with it, but there is a certain amount of trust involved. Plus, the "glamourousness" (if that is a word) goes away when you have to deal with a ton of spam bots, people who will blatantly break the rules and not care, or who will do their best to annoy the mods.
I don't wake up in the morning and say "Alright, let's delete and ban about 20 spam bots!" But I do it anyway. I don't get paid for banning spam bots and otherwise keeping the forums clean, so my only motivation is because I love and appreciate this community, despite the toxicity of some, and what they've been for the past 3 or so years. I technically could leave and remove all trace of me from here, discord, and my online social media, but I can't and won't do that, as that is unfair to those like me who still believe in this community and these forums.
Do I wish for more activity? Yes, because just deleting spam bots every day is monotonous. Do I wish that Blast was back and fixing a few things? Most every day. Do I wish I wasn't the only mod left? Sometimes. Yet, that is what I have, and what I have to deal with. Something that I'm learning in life, especially as I wrap up high school and head off to college later this year is that I can't control everything, and not everything I want to do is ideal (almost nothing is). And I when I take something seriously, I don't like it when things don't seem fair or right to me. However, the world doesn't revolve around me and my desires.